Planning For Second Child – 3 Lifestyle Changes For Fertility
Having children, particularly the first one, is excellent practice in expecting the unexpected. As much as there can be anxiety and uncertainty, there can be joy and feelings of accomplishment and confidence. When couples step up to the plate for a second try at having a baby, they often think that the second time around will be easier. In many ways it is. While the big fears don’t go away, it’s easier to relax into the process of it. What couples sometimes don’t anticipate, is when fertility issues arise on the second try. What is different from the first time? Even if there are no apparent problems, what are some of the considerations any second-time parents want to think about before it’s time for a new member to join the crew? Here are a few considerations from a holistic health perspective:
Sometimes, in the throes of trying to get pregnant, my patients will get very caught up in the mechanics of the process. We learn in school and from books that it is very linear: sperm meets egg, sperm fertilizes egg, and after nine months have passed a new baby is ready to be born. What we don’t learn about is how much energy it takes to create a happy, healthy baby. We don’t learn about all that your body needs to have in place before the pregnancy even occurs. In nature, there is generally a mass storage process that happens before a lot of energy is expended, like when a bear fattens itself up before winter hibernation. Now, I’m not suggesting that one should gain a ton of weight before they get pregnant, but there is a certain level of nourishing that has to be done (by both mother and father) before a successful, healthy pregnancy can take place. Sure, people can get pregnant when that doesn’t happen. But what happens in the dress rehearsal is just as important as the production itself.
Sometimes, what I tell patients is to act as if that baby is already there, growing bigger. What will they need? They’ll need nutrition, they’ll need flow and a healthy circulatory system, they’ll need loving vibes and reduced stress. As much as Nature feeds on chance, it delights in well-tended and intentional surroundings. Tonic teas such as nettle, red raspberry leaf, and oat straw can very wonderful to build micro mineral stores and tonify reproductive tissues. Nutrient dense foods like avocados, beets, nuts and seeds, have essential minerals and fatty acids necessary for tissue repair and brain development. These are also the first fuels our body will burn off under times of stress, so they have to be consistently replenished if there is enough for two.
Oftentimes women will come to me to talk about fertility issues, but up to that point the health of their partner was a secondary consideration. In these cases, I always treat both partners, as reproductive success is never up to one. Even if sperm analysis has come back completely normal (in my experience this rarely happens), there are things we can’t necessarily measure that can greatly impact successful fertilization. Sperm’s ability to swim in the correct direction is actually an issue that can be addressed nutritionally. Sometimes lifestyle considerations, like chemical exposure, underwear and pant choices, previous history of smoking, etc, all can still impact fertility, even if the couples’ shared diet is nutritious. Men need to introduce nutrient dense foods in a similar fashion, particularly foods that are high in zinc and selenium, like nuts and seeds. Vitamin C is a huge food source for sperm on their way to the fertilization site, so fruits, vegetables, and supplementation can be key.
Quite a few things can throw a wrench in a woman’s cycle: previous birth control use, previous pregnancy, breastfeeding, and irregular eating patterns are just a few. Sometimes the first thing to be done is what I call a “reintroduction” period, where your body has to relearn what a normal cycle should be for you. What you can do for this depends on, of course, why the cycle is off, and also if you are breastfeeding. Some of the best results I see in practice come from a combination of timed herbal supplementation, manual techniques like Mayan or abdominal massage, and stress management techniques. Since you are essentially resetting your “creativity center,” pursuing creative endeavors for stress management can be very helpful. Getting in touch with a cycle can actually be a really anchoring and affirming exercise, with the final outcome being a sense of balance before another pregnancy happens.
Bottom line, when the goal is to expand the family, some of the best things you can do is nurture the family members that are already present. Even if other medical methods have to be done to help the process, incorporating some of these concepts into the regimen can be grounding and supportive of those gains.